My 49th birthday is approaching.....quickly....this month, in fact. As of tomorrow, I am an empty nester. I have 4 amazing kids, a son-in-law and the most perfect grandson ever...who is about to start walking...and I am scared!
We have lived in our humble abode for 21 plus years. This house looked on as we brought our last 2 babies home from the hospital, it lived through 2 giant litters of labs, 4 kindergarten, elementary, middle and high school graduations and 2 college graduations, a grandchild...and everything in-between...and it is a mess.
Now, I watch Dr. Phil and Oprah with great curiosity as they host the messiest families in the world and I smugly say.."my house is perfect compared to that...." But in reality, this house shows the signs of living a long time with a "Sentimental Messy" as it's primary care-giver and it is not pretty!
I am a teacher and for the first time ever, I decided to actually take this summer off...meaning there are no more excuses. I spent the first few weeks of the summer making a plan. I talked to everyone who would listen about how I was going to give this house a face-lift ...and slowly, the plan emerged.
I would start with my room. This was the suggestion of my oldest child, who amazingly made it through growing up with me and who is the farthest thing from me in her housekeeping. This child is organized and can throw away things without even a second look into the bag...
She told me if I would give myself a haven to retreat to every day, I would feel better and I would want to keep going. My best friend agreed and the process began.
Let me begin by saying...I did not take a "before" picture but let it suffice to say, this is a basement room in a split-level house, meant to be a family room ...so it is huge. I looked around it and wanted to cry because I had no clue how to start. Again, my daughter wisely told me to start with my clothes. The closet would be first. It took a couple days and several trips to the Christian Women's Center to drop donations...as well as several to the dump...but finally, the closet was cleaned, organized and the doors actually shut.
Now what? Several years ago I let a tele-marketer talk me into getting one of those 3 year, 10 magazine a month deals that I could not live without. After a couple years of struggling with where to put all the magazines I received that I would read "someday", I finally purchased some of those magazine boxes and stored 3 years worth of magazines in various nooks and crannies in my bedroom and bathroom. This would be the next step....eight bags and 2 trips to the re-cycling center, cleared out some much needed space and I was breathing easier.
After this came the piles I was collecting for the children's scrapbooks and then , all of a sudden, the process became fun! I could see things in my room I forgot existed, the room felt cooler and lighter, and I knew I had won this battle. It took almost 2 weeks...but it was all worth it when my children walked into my room and nearly passed out!
Several years ago, I read a book about de-cluttering that gave names to various types of pack-rats. I quickly labeled myself the "Sentimental Messy" as I worry that when I throw something out, I am throwing away the memory. So this is the beginning of my struggle to break free of that title and win the crown of queen of my castle.
The next set of rooms are the living/dining and kitchen/den. The plan has been made...I have dabbled in the beginning stage of the cleaning out....and will continue to report on the progress.
Until later..
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3 comments:
Wow, I am thrilled to hear about your breakthrough, sis. Keep it up. Better to learn "new habits" while you are younger because as I am learning from living with our mom, it's hard to break most if any when you older. And I think we all get a bit more disorganized as we age. I have been trying to "simplify" my life and get rid of my clutter, which is mostly contained now in boxes in the garage and basement, and not so much in the house, thank g-d. I wonder what type of messy I would be categorized as?
I still have a ways to go, and now with mom's "stuff"...well you can imagine. Mac (my SO) laughed uncontrollably when he found a copy of a book on "clearing your clutter with fung shui" in the midst of a pile of papers in my messy office. At least I got the book - now to read and apply it!!... Love you, sis.
Way to go Dee Dee! The best memories are new ones shared with people, at least when compared with old ones realized while staring at a 20 year old piece of 'clutter.' What with your kids all achieving adulthood (I think :) ), some of your best times are yet to come! I love cleansing exercises. I used to do them with my youth (campers, MYF) all the time. Washing feet, nailing written down worries to a cross, creek walks to waterfalls, even a good long shower to clear the mind when you have to think of something important. Your house is a monstrous cleansing exercise, and when you're done, it's like turning the page. Going from one chapter to the next in life is not forgetting and discarding the old chapter. The previous chapters will always be in your memory, regardless of whether or not you have something to look at to remind you of it. Turning the page is just beginning to live a new chapter. I know you understand, I got rutted down in my previous chapter over the last couple of years, holding on to dear life to the memories of yesterday, all the while postponing the new memories of tomorrow and completely neglecting the positive things that I was experiencing in the present. Over the past few weeks, I have been doing my derndest to turn the page. Now, I won't really be able to do that until I find my job, but when that happens, I know I'll be completely in a new chapter in my life. Nothing is more exciting and refreshing! I love you, keep it up, and good luck!
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